Are You Done, Yet?
If you have more than two or three children, you have probably been asked more than once if you are "done" yet. Perhaps a grocery cashier has said to you with a sympathetic look, "You've got your hands full, today!". Worse yet, your mother-in-law has told you that "You'd better be on the pill!". When I became pregnant with my fourth child, most people were shocked, but a few actually condoned it by saying, "Two of each, that's perfect!". Someone even called my son "The Caboose", implying that he that would be my last. He may be my last, but I'll let God decide that. Let's not start calling him the caboose prematurely.
Our Culture
Even in some churches, the two or three child family is considered ideal. If you go back just three generations, many families, perhaps even your own great grandparents, had more than six children--maybe even 8 or 10! That may sound like a lot, but what does the Bible say about having kids?
Be Fruitful
Let's start from the beginning. What was the first commandment? Don't eat of the tree...right? WRONG! Read Genesis 1:28. You may be thinking that the whole be-fruitful-and-multiply command was just for Adam and Eve, but was it? Did you ever wonder why God used the word "replenish"? It means to refill, so God couldn't have been just talking to Adam and Eve about filling the earth with people initially. The command to replenish the earth is ongoing.
Pregnancy in the Bible
There are several stories in the Bible where God gives a woman conception or opens or closes her womb. You may be thinking that times have changed or that you can't afford to keep having kids. Not practicing birth control does not guarantee a family of 12 kids. Many women stop having children naturally after only a few kids, and some go several years between children. Many of the women in the Bible had only a few children, but it was clear that God was in control of how many they did have. Not everyone's quiver of arrows is the same size. Letting the Lord plan your family size is an act of faith. You can't afford to tithe, but you still obey God and he provides, right?
Where Do You Draw the Line?
Since you are reading this blog, you are probably either a Christian or a homeschooler or both, and you may already have or want several kids. You've read Psalm 127 and 128 and you want to be fruitful and happy, but you've got to stop sometime, don't you?
Artificial Hormones
What about birth control? The pill and other hormonal methods are designed to prevent ovulation, but also create a hostile environment in the uterus as a back-up mechanism. What does this mean? If you are on the pill, or the patch, or whatever, you might conceive a child that will die without you ever knowing you were pregnant. The hostile environment in the uterus caused by artificial hormones prevents fertilized eggs from implanting, therefore causing early or silent abortions. Before you comment to my blog that this isn't true, read your package insert. I've heard Christians say that using an iud is wrong because it prevents implantation, but what they may not know is that the pill does the same thing.
"Natural" Methods
What about non-hormonal,"natural" methods of birth control or even sterilization? Well, at least you are not accidentally killing a baby that way, but does it please God? You might be arguing in your mind that birth control is not mentioned in the Bible, but again, you are mistaken. Read Genesis Chapter 38. The birth control method mentioned in that chapter is non-hormonal, but it did cost someone his life--the man who used the birth control. The one time birth control is mentioned in the Bible, God killed the man who practiced it!
Going Natural
Having a baby every year isn't good for your body, but breastfeeding will naturally space your children. I believe that Hosea 1:8 is alluding to this appropriate method of child spacing. We've all heard the anecdotes about women who have gotten pregnant while breastfeeding a two month old, but nursing has worked for me and countless others. I have never even had any periods while breastfeeding, which means that I was probably not ovulating. My youngest child is 17 months old and breastfeeding, as well as eating lots of other food, and my periods have still not returned. I realize that I could still become pregnant, which is fine. I have not always been against birth control, but I have studied the Bible and have come to the conclusion that this is the right way to live. I challenge anyone to show me a loophole in the Bible making birth control o.k. I've read it. There isn't one.
Answering the Questions
So, to answer the questions...Yes, I have four children. No, I do not know if we are done yet. Yes, I have my hands full, today, and every day. Where am I going to put them??? I have a four bedroom house, and haven't you ever heard of bunk beds? Do I wish that I could have more choice in the matter? To be honest, I'm glad that the Bible gives me a license to keep having kids! The next time someone with two kids tells you they just couldn't handle having another child, ask them this question: Which one of your kids do you wish you didn't have?
Homeschooling Information
8 comments:
God punished Onan with death because of his act of disobediance to sire a child for his dead brother, as was the custom. He could have just said no but he wanted his cake and eat it to, so to speek. He chose to copulate with his wife but not fulfill his job. His heart was in the wrong place and he was put to death for that, not for the act of birth control.
Thank you for posting on my site:-) you were right; i enjoyed your post.
i am one of those that can nurse exclusively and still get pregnant. my periods return immediately after birth. However, look at the ages of my dc; 16.3, 13.3, 10.2., 8.9, 6.10, 4.11, 3.9, and.6. you will notice one 18 month span and one 15 month span, but all the others have been 2-3 years. We used birth control for the first few years of our marriage 22 years ago. the thing i find fascinating is that if we had left it to God right away and and i was "normal" in not returning to fertility right away, we would now have, oh 7 and a half to eight children. Hmmm. could my immediate return to fertility be God trying to fix our slow start? Notice, when we caught up with what we would have had otherwise, I had a three year break (still had periods and showed all signs of fertility, but no baby!) God IS in control!
Great comment! Thanks for posting that. That is very interesting how your children are spaced.
To anonymous: Nothing in the Bible is incidental, coincidental, or accidental. The fact that Onan used birth control is obviously significant. There are lots of other stories in the Bible where God punished people for disobeying, yet he chose to also include this story. Did Onan have a specific reason for using birth control? Yes, but I'm sure you do, too.
the difficulty I have with what anon. says about Onan is that you are saying God only judges the motives of the heart and not one's individual actions. We are held accountable for our actions as well as our heart motives.
OH, I need your email so I can send you the code for the blogroll. Please email me! (you can find my email in my profile.)
I really enjoyed reading your post. I am expecting Baby #5. We have not used bc since Baby #2, but I like you breastfeed and do not have periods during that time. After I stopped nursing baby #3 I got pg within a month or so, but there was 8 months after me quitting breastfeeding and getting pg with this baby. My mother is totally against our decision about being quiverfull. In fact she has not been happy about any of our pregnancies, even though she loves them and is a wonderful grandmother once they are born. Her opinion really affects me. So it really helps to read the blogs of others that are like minded. Thanks!
Belinda @ homeschoolblogger.com/luvs2bemom
I just posted a follow-up to this article called Quiver Full Part 2, which links to a sermon on this topic.
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